This weekend I took to the seven seas. Coming from Cornwall you may assume that I have spent lots of time on boats. You would be mistaken.
We spent Saturday morning putting the entire contents of the house into the car and driving to Portchester to find the boat. I mean, they knew where it was, but I didn't. It seems that sailing and travelling light are not compatible and I was most grateful for all the extra clothes and tea when we were out in the elements.
I soon realised there was more to this sailing malarky than I initially realised. You have to wear comedy clothes and adopt a casual air despite being in constant danger. I found a little smoking seat which was practically on the outside of the boat, and got ready to drown. We considered doing a "man overboard" exercise with a bucket but decided we'd rather have a sausage sandwich. It's important to have clear priorities at such times.
We spent the evening in a pub where everyone gets pissed and dances on the tables. It's actually not enormously sensible to get drunk when you have to get back on a boat a few hours later but when in Rome etc. Joe and I almost came to blows with a man dressed as a crocodile who ordered 35 drinks at the bar. Reptiles are selfish. And thirsty.
We had a jolly good time despite the near-ruckus and the sea-sickness/hangover/general horror of waking up in a small triangular moving bed. I think next time I might even pull a few ropes.
We spent Saturday morning putting the entire contents of the house into the car and driving to Portchester to find the boat. I mean, they knew where it was, but I didn't. It seems that sailing and travelling light are not compatible and I was most grateful for all the extra clothes and tea when we were out in the elements.
I soon realised there was more to this sailing malarky than I initially realised. You have to wear comedy clothes and adopt a casual air despite being in constant danger. I found a little smoking seat which was practically on the outside of the boat, and got ready to drown. We considered doing a "man overboard" exercise with a bucket but decided we'd rather have a sausage sandwich. It's important to have clear priorities at such times.
We spent the evening in a pub where everyone gets pissed and dances on the tables. It's actually not enormously sensible to get drunk when you have to get back on a boat a few hours later but when in Rome etc. Joe and I almost came to blows with a man dressed as a crocodile who ordered 35 drinks at the bar. Reptiles are selfish. And thirsty.
We had a jolly good time despite the near-ruckus and the sea-sickness/hangover/general horror of waking up in a small triangular moving bed. I think next time I might even pull a few ropes.
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