Political party conference season is upon us so I am setting sail for Birmingham this afternoon to see the Lib Dems. Next week I am in Liverpool for Labour and the following week I shall be heading to Manchester for the Tories.
I have never been to any of these places before so I have high hopes of northern metropolises with people talking strangely and eating foreign foods. Actually, that's a lie, I went to Birmingham once. But only to Cadbury World. I'm not sure if that counts. (Note to self: do not tell this anecdote over dinner. It is dull.)
After four months off I would say my understanding of current affairs is patchy at best. I am going to need to disguise this by either 1) steering the conversation round to things I do understand, like weird things that happen in India or how nice the Guardian Weekend fashion special was, or 2) making vague and meaningless comments such as "well it may be a difficult season for the Lib Dems. But in the current climate perhaps you could say that about any of the parties." Or maybe I could just nod sagely while other people talk. I remember a philosophy seminar where the tutor said "well, I can see what Kate's opinion is. What do the rest of you think?", because of my sage nod. Needless to say I had no idea what was going on.
Wish me luck - hopefully I won't embarrass myself too badly. Or audibly grind my teeth in the shared apartment.
I have never been to any of these places before so I have high hopes of northern metropolises with people talking strangely and eating foreign foods. Actually, that's a lie, I went to Birmingham once. But only to Cadbury World. I'm not sure if that counts. (Note to self: do not tell this anecdote over dinner. It is dull.)
After four months off I would say my understanding of current affairs is patchy at best. I am going to need to disguise this by either 1) steering the conversation round to things I do understand, like weird things that happen in India or how nice the Guardian Weekend fashion special was, or 2) making vague and meaningless comments such as "well it may be a difficult season for the Lib Dems. But in the current climate perhaps you could say that about any of the parties." Or maybe I could just nod sagely while other people talk. I remember a philosophy seminar where the tutor said "well, I can see what Kate's opinion is. What do the rest of you think?", because of my sage nod. Needless to say I had no idea what was going on.
Wish me luck - hopefully I won't embarrass myself too badly. Or audibly grind my teeth in the shared apartment.
Well, I think you've missed Cleggie's speech. So you can leave the tomatoes at home. Though he does seem to be fighting back, slowly but surely - so maybe you should consider (briefly, obviously) shaking his hand.
ReplyDeleteOh, and if conversation does turn out to be a problem, remember that today (but only, today, so this is one for the LibDems) you can just talk like a pirate:
ReplyDelete(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Talk_Like_a_Pirate_Day)
That may result in my being sent home from conference. But worth a shot if things get desperate.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you were saying at the Southbank Centre seemed to be FASCINATING to your audience... go with that. I bloody missed the fashion special. RUBBISH
ReplyDeleteOh who cares? Lib Dems have completely lost their support by selling out to be the Tory poodles.
ReplyDeleteActually, isn't Birmingham somewhere in the Midlands? Should this not be Midland Lights? And by the way, I am deeply regretting my insult to poodles.
ReplyDelete