Ou est le Dalai Lama?

We are in McLeod Ganj, aka Upper Dharamsala, which is where he lives. No sign of him yet although he is on TV a lot speaking in Tibetan about stuff. According to his website he goes to Australia on Saturday so I really need to find him soon. Apparently if you give him a white scarf he will bless it and give it back to you. Unfortunately I don't have a white scarf so I'll have to give him my new big gay travelling trousers. All I seem to do in India is buy trousers. These ones make me look like I have one extremely fat leg with trotters poking out of the bottom, which is nice. Photos coming soon.

I have been ill for, well, I can't really remember not being ill these days. Thank heavens for being able to buy antibiotics over the counter for a pound. Although maybe they are actually not antibiotics because they don't seem to have had any effect. I am trying to focus on the potential weight loss implications - there are no scales here so I've decided that I probably weigh eight stone (shh.)

You may recall that Joe and I wanted to do some volunteering while we're here and we've found the perfect thing. Taking children to the park for three hours a day. I mean, how hard can it be? Joe says I will struggle because the only games I know are drinking games but I am confident in my abilities. I have learned a lot since I gave a baby a coat hanger to play with.

It is seriously beautiful here and doesn't really feel like India at all. There are Buddhist monks and nuns all over the place and prayer flags everywhere. Our room has an incredible view of the mountains only marred slightly by the building site below. Indians seem to have a very relaxed attitude to health and safety so the guys working on the site wear flipflops and don't have hats. C'est tres dangereux.

Tomorrow, we are going to look at the Dalai Lama's house. Hopefully he will be in there so I can burst in and surprise him. If not I suppose I will be boarding the next plane to Australia. Wish me luck...